Written by Jacob Cody, WLLC 2015-2016
In Ford’s second chapter of “The Dark Side of Light Chasers” called “Chasing Down the Shadows,” she discusses the benefits of expressing your feelings, which sounds like a pretty cliché way of dealing with your problems. The most interesting part, however, was the story of the woman who hated her daughter. That’s not an emotion I would embrace, without feeling the emotions of shame and guilt as well. In my opinion, expressing something as extreme as that would only lead to more hatred, and I would not encourage another person to do so. Somehow, this strategy worked for this woman and it brought out love in her for her daughter. I found this quite fascinating in the sense that if you hate your daughter, the solution to your problems is more deep rooted than just realizing that you have some defense mechanism that exhibits hatred toward your loved ones. Even more so, why would someone need a defense mechanism against their own daughter? As the parent, shouldn’t you be the one with the control in the relationship? There’s no fear of judgment from your children; you can just send them to their room. If its fear of rejection you’re feeling, then you should probably evaluate your parenting style, not some insecurity you have.
Even though Ford’s methods can have some great implications, I don’t really buy her stories on the scale she’s selling them for. She is obviously writing to a very specific target audience. One that has the slightest insecurities, or are even just bored, and are looking for a quick solution to the petty problems in their life. As a nineteen-year-old dude who is rather comfortable with himself, I probably have a biased in the sense that I can’t relate to these securities and thus struggle to empathize with this audience.
Regardless, I think these problems are solved by more than just “embracing emotion.” I think they’re solved by reflecting on the type of person you are and looking for the solution on a larger scale. This scale is love. Confronting the person who is causing these emotions should be the first step. As human beings, we are programmed to interact, but most of all we’re programmed to love. If we put love at the forefront of emotions, all the negative emotions would be put at a halt. Love is the solution to reclaiming our power from our dark side.