Written by Morgann Monahan, WLLC 2015-2016
I want to start with my second response to the Birthing ARTiculations:
Birthing Articulations had a strange effect on me. I was nauseated with sadness after reading the blog directed toward Theo, the rain child. At first I was resistant because of the extreme emotions and strange grieving processes expressed in this blog. I couldn’t, and still can’t, wrap my head around it. I didn’t have any take-aways from the blog beyond the increasing fear of having children and experiencing such pain. At this age, I can’t even begin to imagine the maternal connection and love that comes from giving birth, therefore this didn’t resonate with me. It hit me over the head like a rock instead of entering into my head where I could truly process it, causing the heightened, uncompassionate response I had. I wasn’t uncompassionate, I understand that losing something so dear is painful and have experienced that, but I was not as compassionate as I should have been. My take away is that compassion should over ride in any situations that evoke empathy, regardless.
You may have noticed that I said “second” response, which is because my first response was regrettably, inappropriate. The blog post I read rattled me causing me to react defensively, where I had no reason or right to be defensive. My initial response was also fueled by confusing and frustration. I asked,
“Why in the world are we reading about dead babies for Social and Community Wellness?”
Completely questioning the purpose of the assignment and the presentation. To be honest, I was pretty annoyed. ‘We’re supposed to be learning about wellness in the community and in relationships not reading about weird grieving processes in a blog.’ I thought.
We showed up to the library and Delaney leaned into me to whisper,
“I think that’s the mom…”
I didn’t think so and handed in my all too offensive reaction toward Birthing ARTiculations. As she began speaking, I became more and more nauseated. At one point I actually thought I might have to excuse myself. Realization set in that standing in front of us was the blogger that I had basically just called crazy and judged for her own grieving process. Not only was she here and real (internet bloggers can be iffy!), but she is a member of our community, a teacher here at DU, and a colleague of Kate. I felt horrible. How could I have judged someone’s grieving process when I know first hand that everyone grieves differently? I was ashamed of myself and after the presentation told Kate that I needed my paper back. It was unacceptable.
I know many of us were befuddled by this assignment and were asking the same question as to why. Because she is a member of our community who needed and continues to need support after her loss and to be able to conceive a new dream of helping the other victims in our community who have been cheated and experienced baby loss, a scarlet letter of today, a topic that is worn and yet never seems to be spoken of.