Vulnerability with My Doctor

Written by Laura Anderson, WLLC 2015-2016

Maria Brann’s passage, No Time to Grieve, and Dr. Erin Willer’s talk a few weeks ago have opened up a wound that I had decided to hide and put on hold fall quarter. It has been painful, but it’s clear to me that God put these topics in my path in order to do some amazing work in my life this quarter.

A little over a year ago, I was told that there was a good chance I would never have children. That possibility both terrified me, and crushed a huge part of my dreams for the future. One of the hardest parts, though, has been dealing with the different doctors I have seen. All told me (after zero tests were done) that there is a good chance I won’t have kids and/or that I will get cancer…that is, unless I took the pills they prescribed. I was told there was no other option; that was it.

I’ve spent a lot of this journey angry at the doctors, feeling talked down to, kept in the dark, scared, and frustrated. But after reading Brann’s statement that “health care providers and patients share responsibility for communicating effectively with one another,” I realized that I also played a part in the lack of communication that went on in those offices (21).

I don’t mean this in a way of blaming myself for not asking more questions, but in more of a way to let go of the anger and blame towards any party. Doctor-patient relationships are very difficult and nuanced, but open, vulnerable, and active participation from both parties is the only way to get past that and into true healing. Thankfully, I have recently been able to experience this holistic doctor-patient relationship first-hand and can say that it truly does make a world of a difference.


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